Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone | Life

Today i'm talking about something a little different here on my blog, something I don't think I've ever talked about on here. But don't worry, I shall be back to my usual posts next week! Basically i'm going to be talking about stepping out of my comfort zone- i'm just going to put it out there, I do not have social anxiety and that is not the basis of this post. I feel that everyone has certain boundaries and choosing to socialise with those outside of my immediate family is one I've crossed.

I'll give you a brief outline of why I was in this situation, of course I won't give the ins and outs. About 8 years ago my mother, her mother(my Nan) and her sisters(my aunties) had a huge argument which caused breakdowns within the family that have never been resolved. This meant that I very rarely got to see anybody outside of my immediate family circle to avoid possibly upsetting my mother or the fear that they don't want to see me or my siblings. I'll just put it out there now, I was just assuming and I was completely wrong.
Anyway, enough about that!

Yesterday, was my Nan's birthday. She decided to have a family gathering and in fact invited my mother and all of us(me and my siblings). I knew I wanted to go, to step out of my comfort zone and not to isolate myself anymore from the family. I must admit, it was a big step for me and my sister as we haven't seen them properly in about 5-8 years. So much has changed in those years and I felt completely oblivious to the goings on and I felt my family were constantly recapping us on things we had missed. 

I felt like I was a complete stranger who had joined the family, I felt so awkward.

There was even one point where I told my sister, I wanted to leave and I felt like an outcast.
However, i'm so glad I stayed as I felt that there was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I'm still kicking myself for not doing it sooner but I no longer feel guilty about not going to see them- i'm not passing the blame but it really wasn't my fault when all of these years, I felt like it was.

When everybody was leaving, I began to become tearful. If i'm honest, my auntie hit the nail right on the head- I was completely overwhelmed by everything. Nobody excluded us, everyone was lovely and so supportive. I was reminded that I can make my own choices in life, chances are my mum wouldn't be bothered by them as at the end of the day, she never once stopped me from seeing the rest of the family.

Me and my sisters have made it our mission to visit everybody this summer on a regular basis and keep it that way. 

I worried about the gathering all week but honestly I had nothing to worry about. I'm so glad I stepped out of my comfort zone as I feel so much better and happier. I don't really know how to end this post but basically, I want to encourage you to step out of your comfort zone- whats the worst that could happen? It's definitely not the end of the world if it goes wrong but it's amazing when it goes right!

I hope this post wasn't too boring as it was very personal, points to you if you made it to the very end!

What have you been up to this week?

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